To the Children of Chaos

Are we subconsciously summoning our own initiation?

Thelonious Monk once said, “A genius is the one who is most like himself.” To live with soul is to be exactly that - moving through life with the dance you were born to dance.

I’m sure there have been times you have tapped in to this state of being yourself. Moments when whoever you believe yourself to be moves out of the way and your soul’s mastered characteristics take over the show.

It’s a crying shame that some of you will only stumble upon your innate soul gifts accidentally. You’ll fumble around for true purpose within the narrow range of options afforded by an unimaginative culture.

A culturescape that constantly tells you to "Be yourself" - only to sell you a version of what that should look like. True authenticity has nothing to do with what you have or who you appear to be; it’s a state of being.

The state of being fully ALIVE as your soul becomes untethered from holding patterns and is free to radiate joy, love and care - your natural unperturbed state.

I’m hosting a workshop on Wednesday the 20th of November called “Secrets of the Soul” where I’ll be diving deep into the initiatory process, reclaiming your inner genius and SOUL CAMP at the end of the year. Reach out if you’re keen!

Purpose is only a small part of the soul’s path. A stepping stone on the journey to living life fully. Some souls are candlelit flames. Others are supernova stars. When you look around, bar a few rare exceptions, the only people you see with the ability to shine their light so freely are children.

For you, living fully means choosing authenticity over acceptance by shedding the layers of domestication imposed by:

• Parents who, despite their best intentions, really did a number on you carrying the burden of their own generational cookery

• Schools that prioritise churning out mini foot soldiers of the Empire over cultivating your unique own genius

• Jobs that continue the infantilisation process and keep you in a perpetual state of arrested development

We are children of chaos, living in biblically chaotic times.

And yet - despite all these challenges, I’ve never been filled with more hope.

In my personal life, I pushed myself so close to breaking point I had a near death experience. This word doesn’t quite capture the weight of what happened, because through my eyes, I had actually died.

My consciousness left my body, I no longer had contact with physical reality, and I felt the torturous pain of someone having to explain to my mother her son had died.

It was by a country mile the single most harrowing moment of my life.

The death bit, I have made peace with. But the soul-wrenching agony of my mother being told her son is no longer with her still haunts me to this day.

It took me a while to recover the fractured pieces of my psyche and reclaim my soul - not just from this particular experience, but also from the decades of betraying my body that lead up to it.

That initiatory moment sparked the change I needed to start living life on my own terms. Knowing how easily life can be lost fuels my drive to embrace the full width of life, not just its length. The ups, the downs, the swings, the misses, they are all gifts.

As above, so below.

That which is most personal, is also most universal.

I'm sharing this because the challenges I've faced in my life mirror those we collectively confront today, creating conditions ripe for our evolution. As we edge closer to the apocalypse, we are subconsciously summoning a collective initiation.

Without any true elders to guide us through the initiatory experience of cracking us open; the soul waits for, or even creates - traumatic experiences that loosen the iron grip the ego has on the world.

It’s no surprise that Donald Trump returned to the White House just last week. He is the archetypal destroyer but not in the way his ardent followers believe him to be. He will destroy any illusion of democracy the American people are under.

Most Empires last an average of 250 years, or ten generations. The US has been around for 248. The way America has been bullying the world and subjugating its citizens cannot last forever, and the false prophecy of Trump may be the wake-up call-to-adventure that begins the initiatory process.

Each and every single one of you has a hidden enemy that is showing up in a myriad of different ways, some subtle, some as obvious as a slap in the face.

Whether the hidden enemy is mum, dad, your abuser, the school bullies; the soul wants you to revisit these core wounds. They will keep popping up in your life through triggers and unsavoury figures like whack a mole until they are alchemised.

As I mentioned earlier, as above, so below. And as within, so with out.

The hidden enemy within the collective is surfacing in cartoonishly exaggerated figures like Harris and Trump, as these personas resonate with and exploit the sense of separation within us all.

Our chaotic inner landscape is spilling over into our shared reality, holding up a mirror by elevating such divisive figures to positions of power, reflecting our unprocessed grief, anguish, and pain.

Muslims and Jews, Men and Women, Gryffindors and Slytherins - we are all being pitted against each other and having our tribal tendencies used against us.

As I explored in the 4 stages of life, I saw a clear progression in how our capacity for awareness expands as we evolve. Each stage represents a shift in focus, from self-centeredness to a broader, more encompassing view of existence.

• The child is narcissistic - concerned only with their own needs

• The adolescent is tribalistic - concerned only with their own needs and those of others like them

• The adult is holistic - concerned with the needs of the ecosystem

• The elder is cosmic - concerned with all living beings, past, present, and future, throughout space and time.

Most people unconsciously play out tribal patterns of adolescent behaviour because we live in an adolescent culture.

And we live in an adolescent culture because most people are still stuck in a state of adolescence with a centre of gravity outside of themselves concerned more with how they look than who they are.

As Bill Plotkin, wilderness guide and depth psychologist, reminds us:

Getting older by itself does not cause us to mature psychologically. Adolescence is not at all confined to our teen years… an adult is someone who understands why they are here on Earth, why they were born, and is offering their unique contribution to the more-than-human world.

You’re not becoming spiritual. You’re just growing up

If we reframe what we in the Western world see as "spiritual" to simply "growing up," and see our challenges as a natural part of the initiatory process, we might have a better chance of understanding our confusing times and growing through them.

We are currently being pulled across a critical threshold - from adolescent ways of being to adult ways of being. Like Neo, Frodo, and Harry Potter, we’re doing a shitty job of initially answering this call, stumbling our way forward.

But as we evolve, we begin to let go of who we believe we’re supposed to be. This release creates space for something greater to emerge: surrendering to our inner genius, deepening our capacity for care, and opening up to the possibility that things don’t have to be this way.

We use so much energy keeping old stories alive.

Your natural proclivities are to love, connect and grow but this precious life force is being used up trying to be The Clever Man, The Shy One, The Funny Boy, The Hot Girl, The Cool Kid and more. These protective masks were created in order to keep you safe from a visible enemy a long time ago, but no longer serve a purpose.

By the time most of you discover this, you will have created a whole identity from these wounded parts - parts that need feeding. They hold an insatiable appetite but when you bring them to the surface of awareness they become integrated, creating more somatic space to receive, connect and create. Take it away, Odetta.

Here’s a test for you to try next time you're in uncertain territory, for example, a date/ job interview/ after party with P Diddy: Notice how you adopt a distinct persona that isn’t truly yours in order to quickly gain acceptance.

This takes a certain level of self awareness and internal agility to truly catch, but once you do, you'll start to notice how it manifests in almost every area of your life, often just beneath the surface of your consciousness. It’s a subtle but powerful force, constantly shaping your actions and responses often without your full awareness.

What our ancestors understood instinctively was that by using rituals to break down and rebuild, they could help participants open up in the face of uncertainty. This process would allow them to take off the masks that cage them and learn to witness, love, and release their fragilities.

The science backs this up, showing that initiatory rituals such as Rites of Passage activate the compassion centres in the prefrontal cortex, shifting internal paradigms to mirror the balanced, cyclical and ever-evolving rhythms found in nature.

This activation orients adolescents to recognise service to the wider ecology as an essential aspect of becoming a fully functioning adult in society, a level of awareness that isn’t available from an adolescent perspective.

Through the ritual process, we repattern and align with the universal cycle of death, rebirth and service to the greater whole. Patterns which fractal out into a mandala that begins with the individual body, extends to the collective, then to the ecological, and finally to the celestial body.

The buck stops with you

There is not a single person on this planet who has escaped the repercussions of the collective soul loss we are experiencing in the heart of the Empire.

For some, it has manifested in a mystery illness.

For others, it has manifested in a hidden addiction.

For others still, it has manifested a deep sense of alienation.

It is a cycle that has persisted through generations. But for you, this is where the buck stops. To be a generational curse breaker is no mean feat. You have reached a point in your life where many of those that come before you have not been able to reach.

But this awareness alone is not enough. The pain of your ancestors and societal conditioning is bone deep. Why stop now?

What you resist persists, and what you deny multiplies.

Your holding patterns create an invisible field that keeps you where you are. They also stop you from being blessed by life. There is always more room for blessings. There is always more room for life.

And everything you want in life is on the other side of your comfort zone.

Love will always find a way. Everything else will find an excuse.

My belief is that our soul purpose on this planet is to choose love over fear, every time. Your parents were children of chaos. Their parents were children of chaos. Their parents parents were children of chaos.

Where many have failed before you, you now stand at the precipice carrying the wisdom of the elders who came before, and love for those who are yet to come.

The crossing of this threshold is a tale as old as time itself. A journey that strips you down, forcing you to confront your fears and illusions.

One that carries us through well versed chapters of separation, struggle, loss, liminality, re-membering and eventually…

Returning to where you started - this time, more attuned and more you.

If you vibed this piece, join me for a free talk on Wednesday the 20th of November called “Secrets of the Soul” where I’ll be diving deep into the initiatory process, reclaiming your inner genius and SOUL CAMP at the end of the year.

Reach out if you’re interested 🙏🏾